Adopted in the UK

The life of a UK adoptee

Posts Tagged ‘Tweets

I did it! I made a difference! Again!

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This post not only launched an awesome thread of its own, but also spawned a side-thread that yielded startling results too.

Part of the way down this second thread, I suddenly throw in…

Make A Show Of Yourselves was the page that had startled me with it’s adoption advocative language.

Immediately though, understanding entirely the point I was raising, Amanda was on to it …

And that, my friends, is another concrete achievement, because it’s the way we use the language that impacts adoptees far more than, for example, Sir Martin Narey appears to concede.

Written by 7rin

Mon, 18 March, 2013 at 12:08 pm

I did it! I made a difference!

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It takes time and luck to get things moving in the right direction, but today I had my first ever real tangible “success”.

One of the things I know helps adoptees is having other adoptees to talk to. It’s part of the reason I make so many “places” for us, or to direct us towards. When I saw Amanda’s post, I couldn’t not make the suggestion.

That the following Twit was posted very shortly after makes all the fighting I’ve done worthwile, because one of the hardest things about getting support groups together IRL is having an appropriate physical location to do it in, but I’ve managed to help make it available to at least some of us.

This IS a success.

Of course, now it’s up to the adoptees to take up the offer and get themselves there.

Still thrilled I managed to help make it happen though. Am incredibly chuffed. :D

But still we need more offers like this. More awareness of adoptees, and not just of adoption.

Martin Narey is wrong. #justsaying

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Martin Narey is entirely wrong in his belief that…

… and that …

So very very wrong.

Socialisation is what makes being adopted so hard. The socialisation adoptees get IS different, whether it’s politically correct to admit it or not.

Read Verrier and Lifton and Kirschner and Brodzinsky and learn that it’s actually far far harder than you currently believe. No matter how much you want it to be, it’s not “better”, it’s just different.

I have other post in progress, but just wanted to point ^that bit out.

Written by 7rin

Sat, 10 November, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Narey on Adoption

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Martin Narey answers some parents… but not the adoptees.


Embedded above, rewritten below by me (so any typos’re likely to be mine, and I apologise in advanced if I got any wrong – all corrections’ll be followable by any thread :p); originally pimped out on Twitter by Mr. Narey himself.


This is an open letter to some people who use Twitter to challenge my views about adoption. Some of those people have written or e mailed me and have received replies (albeit often necessarily brief replies). Others have preferred to stay anonymous and that’s fine. Some who tweet and blog have been abusive. I don’t much like that but I understand it because I believe it reflects an anger and sometimes a helplessness about their individual cases. I would, I am sure, feel the same way were our positions reversed.

I have never denied the reality that sometimes children are taken into care unnecessarily. It would be silly to believe otherwise when we have a workforce that is fallible. But I believe, and all I have read and seen supports this, that we have a far greater number of cases where we leave children at home when they should be removed. My interest is in children who are neglected (I know that children are taken into care for other reasons). I believe that, as a society, we tolerate neglect for too long. We do not, as many people believe, have record numbers of children in care. At the end of the eighties the care population was half as big again as it is now. And that was at a time when there were at least three times as many adoptions.

So I believe the case for care, for intervening earlier to stop neglect and then sourcing a new permanence for a neglected child is overwhelming and of course I shall continue to argue for that.

Incidentally, I do not – as many tweeters suggest – profit in any way from adoptions. And Barnardo’s, which I ran for six years never, in all that time, made any profit or surplus from the very small number of adoptions they dealt with. Nor do I have any power to intervene in cases. So I cannon, even if I wished, help to achieve the return of anyone’s child.

My role is simply to offer a view to Ministers about adoptions. That view is based on my experience at Barnardo’s and, since my resignation, many, many days spent visiting local authorities, voluntary adoption agencies and speaking to adopters and the adopted as well as children in care and charities which support families struggling to keep their children. Some people call me the Adoption Czar, evoking an image of a large salary and a retinue of staff. Those things, like the Adoption Czar title, are inventions of the press. I have no staff and last year my total earnings from the Department for Education were about £40,000.

So what advice can I offer those who feel their children have been wrongly removed? It is this. Fight your case of course. But do not seek to do so by attacking adoption in general. Whatever the circumstances of your case it is demonstrably true that thousands and thousands of adoptions are successful. The number which breakdown are much lower than commonly believed (new research from the University of Bristol is likely to confirm this) and there are thousands of adult adoptees willing to speak positively about their experience. I am very close personally to four such adoptees and have met hundreds of others.

Nevertheless, I believe (and say frequently) that adoption is only appropriate for a small minority of the children taken into care in England, largely those neglected by parents who are unlikely ever to be able to be successful parents. It is indisputably right that for those children adoption brings stability and compensates for that neglect.

So, continue to pursue that which you believe in. But don’t undermine the specifics of your argument by ignoring the reality of neglect and the need for us as a society, when parents cannot be supported to offer decent homes (often because of drink and addictions) and if good quality kinship carers cannot be found, to find an alternative stability through adoption. Those who might advise that the way to seek resolution of your own cases is by seeking to undermine adoption are – at best – misguided. Instead I offer this advice sincerely, concentrate on demonstrating that the authorities have made grave mistakes in _your_ case

Kind regards

Martin Narey


Written by 7rin

Tue, 9 October, 2012 at 1:36 am

America has finally legalised kidnapping – no joke!

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Please. Tweet the following, and see if we can get this poor kid back to her mom #Call4ActionAgainstAmerica #AmericaLegalisesKidnapping #RescueAnyeliHernandezRodriguez

It is absolutely disgusting that, with this move, America has legalised kidnapping.

I’ve also sent the following message to Madeleine McCann’s parents, since this impacts them too.

I sincerely hope your kid is found in a Hague country, otherwise you could very well end up facing yourself.

Please, help this mother get her own child back, while also gaining support for the hunt for your own child.

Action needs to be called for against America who have, with this move, legalised the kidnapping of children.

Please, for this child and her mother – and possibly yourselves if your daughter is discovered somewhere the UK doesn’t share an agreement with – use your contacts to point out horrific America’s legalisation of kidnapping is.

Have just tweeted the following: #Call4ActionAgainstAmerica #AmericaLegalisesKidnapping #RescueAnyeliHernandezRodriguez

Please retweet.

Found @ Fox 4 News

Missouri Couple to Keep Allegedly Kidnapped Child
Posted on: 8:49 am, May 15, 2012, by Jason M. Vaughn, updated on: 12:39pm, May 15, 2012

LIBERTY, Mo. — A Missouri couple will not be forced by U.S. officials to return a girl adopted from Guatemala in 2008, despite evidence that the girl was kidnapped from her birth mother by a child trafficking ring, Guatemalan officials said on Monday.

Timothy and Jennifer Monahan of Liberty adopted the then-four-year-old girl in 2008. The child was kidnapped from her mother in the small Guatemalan town of San Miguel Petapa in November of 2006.

According to a Guatemalan official citing a diplomatic cable from the U.S. State Department, the couple will not be forced by the U.S. to return the child to her mother because neither the U.S. nor Guatemala had signed Hague Abduction Convention — a treaty regarding international kidnapping — at the time of the kidnapping.

The two nations signed the agreement in January 2008.

Last August, a Guatemalan judge ruled that there was no evidence that the Monahans had any knowledge of the trafficking ring or of any illegal activity.

According to the Associated Press, the child — Anyeli Hernandez Rodriguez — was born Oct. 1, 2004, the second child of Loyda Rodriguez, a housewife, and her bricklayer husband, Dayner Orlando Hernandez.

The girl disappeared Nov. 3, 2006, as Rodriguez was distracted while opening the door to their house in a working class suburb, San Miguel Petapa. The AP reports that she turned to see a woman whisk the girl, then 2 years old, away in a taxi.

Rodriguez spent over a year at an adoption agency before being adopted by the Monahans, the AP reports.

When contacted by FOX 4 last August, the Monahan’s left a note on their home which read, “Please respect our privacy at this time.”

Problems with child trafficking has caused the U.S. State Department to put a stop on all adoptions from Guatemala.

Please help stop America doing this. Thank you.

UPDATING to include links as I trip over ’em.

May 15, 2012
Anyeli Hernandez Rodriguez, Girl Allegedly Kidnapped And Adopted, Will Not Return To Guatemala

May 16, 2012
Guatemalan Mother to Ask US Court to Return Adopted Daughter

May 17, 2012
Kidnapped in Guatemala, ‘adopted’ in America

Written by 7rin

Tue, 15 May, 2012 at 9:47 pm

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