Adopted in the UK

The life of a UK adoptee

Posts Tagged ‘Pimping adoptee blogs

How Fallopian Tubes are like Holocaust Cattle Cars

with one comment

I don’t often to reblogs on to my own adoption blog (don’t need to ’cause I’ve got so many other places I can send it ;}), but this post is so very much in tune with my perspective I was attempting to describe in my recent An update, of sorts post that I just HAD TO share it right here with y’all. :D

boof & monk-monk

Trying to conceive is a strange experience. The more I learn about my body, the more I realize that junior high and high school health/biology class are severely lacking in the information department. Or maybe I was too busy doodling the name of my dreamy crush on my pee chee. Or both.

But seriously, it was only this week that I learned how…um…dumb (for lack of a better description) the whole getting pregnant thing really is. I mean, you have unprotected baby making sex, hopefully at the right time for the stars to align, and when you’re finished you go and get a drink of water, or take a shower or eat a sandwich. And meanwhile, if you’re the lady, there are are these microscopic swimming things just…oh you know….hanging out inside you. I mean, that’s like something from a B level Science Fiction movie…from the late 80’s.

So there…

View original post 393 more words

Advertisements

Written by 7rin

Mon, 26 August, 2013 at 10:34 pm

{1 of 30} I understand…

leave a comment »

“I understand how you feel.”

“I understand what it’s like”

“I know what you’re going through.”

I realise that when people say this to others, or about others, that they’re generally trying to be helpful, and to convey acceptance and comprehension of the issues at hand. However, unless you’ve lived through the same things that the person being discussed has lived through, then no matter how close you may be to another person who HAS lived through the same occurrence (in this instance, adoption, but it could be anything, from being raped, to growing up cis-male), then actually no, you don’t know. You may empathise, and you may recognise some of the myriad issues on an intellectual basis, but you can never know how it feels to live it.



I was hoping that this, my very first NaAdAweMo post ever, would be considerably longer than it’s turned out to be. It hasn’t needed to be any longer though, as the concept’s pretty simple; you don’t know unless you’ve lived it.

This NaBloPoMo was brought to you by the letters J and C, and the number 3.

Written by 7rin

Thu, 1 November, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Title entered here

with one comment

In an effort to reinvigorate my brain, I am going to – yet again – attempt to blog.

As this particular post is winding up in my adoption blog, obviously the subject is to do with adoption – however, as of yet, this post is unformed, and thus may travel in any direction from here.

An obvious starting point could be the first -gate fiasco I’ve heard of this year – that of the Circle of Moms Adoption Blog Award controversy. Real Daughter encapsulated the drama, whilst poor Declassified Adoptee tries hard not to rage in hurt over it all. Other notable posts encountered today can be found by Joy’s Division, Life As Eri Knows It, and iAdoptee.

In other adoption-related stuff, I have spent some of the week pouring over UK adoption legislation in an effort to understand how I need to word what it is I am fighting for. Of course, to be able to do this, I also need it clear in my head what parts of which fight are included where. I started trying to do sort things out August 2010, which I know because the post is still sat in my drafts’ folder. The title was “separating the issues”, and the opening sentence asks:

When it comes to discussing adoption, just how many individual issues are there?

Following that is a link to a discussion on gay adoption – followed by a list: ‘pre-adoption’, ‘post-adoption’ and ‘birth certificate – to amend or not?’

The list described is significantly different to the latest lists I’ve been compiling. Now my lists bear titles such as ‘problems & proposals’, and begin with:

1. Bring in law let adoptees overthrow adoption
2. Change law that covers adoptee rights to seek help from suitably qualified

… and further includes lists like:

Points to pull out

1. Annul adoption / adopting back = adult adoption
now possible to have a new birth certificate issued in a different gender, and despite the fact that it is possible to marry and then divorce, the fact remains that once an adoptee, always an adoptee

2. Lack of support – gmt guide only insist up until 18, why Staff’s not provide when others do

a) If abused = ok to be ‘troubled’ – if adopted = gratefulness required

lack of appropriate support for adults who were adopted as children

While yes, we were once adopted children, we are now adopted adults.

I think the most clarifying explanation comes from my response to Aidan Burley, M.P. however, where I explain that he is:

conflating issues. It is not essential – nor even important – to legally severe a child from its heritage in order for that child to be raised in love, and with care and concern. That adoption is deemed the only choice to be encouraged – even above non-destructive methods such as “legal guardianship” or “parental responsibility” (perhaps the laws governing PR could be widened to provide such permanence, for example) indicates grossly this Government’s intent on destroying families.

Adoption is a cruel and unnecessary legalised lie that enforces gross socialisations on the developing adoptee. Legally annihilating our history is nothing more than punishment of the child for the sins of the parent.

Theses describe – pretty accurately – how I feel about adoption. I recognise that children need permanence, but severing the history of the person who is the one already losing everything else is nothing short of barbaric.

For those interested, my Adoption Mania blog has an entry quoting some of Jenny Keating’s works. The quotes remind the reader that legal annihilation of someone’s past did not begin until the 1920s in England, and were begun to protect the adopting parents from the evil biological families. All this separation does however, is stupefy the child, leaving it left to work out the world with nothing familiar about it. Daniel’s post, while seeming far from the history of adoption in England, does have some commonalities, and also links back well with the kinds of proposals I would like to see (such as greater care within the extended family for a child with parents that won’t/don’t/can’t parent, and a lack of legal annihilation).

And that, I think, is enough for you for now. I appreciate the attention of anyone who has managed to make it this far through the post, and congratulate you on your ability to withstand reading such waffley shit. ;)

Written by 7rin

Sat, 14 April, 2012 at 12:29 am

%d bloggers like this: