Lost Daughters: Baby Veronica: What Adoption Does to Adopted Persons from a Legal Perspective

Lost Daughters: Baby Veronica: What Adoption Does to Adopted Persons from a Legal Perspective.

This post from Julie details much of why my Petitioning Parliament post was written. This is the basis of many of the issues created by adoption, some of which I extrapolated upon in my reply to Sir @martinnarey (who still hasn’t responded to my My Heart’s Desire post).

Julie’s post over on Lost Daughters (and the comments that follow it) talks about the impact that the act of being adopted will have upon Veronica’s life. The act of adoption changes the status of a person in ways that are more than just legal. The societal aspect of living as an adoptee is a minefield. If we’re happy with adoption, then we’re happy with the fact that a child is growing up unrelated to their own kin – whyever this happens, it is something sad. If we’re pissed at adoption, then obviously we must have “had a bad experience”.

One of my more recent FB page creations is The Lucky Adoptee, who – contrary to popular perception – I consider myself to be. I did get the steady life that adoption promises. While we weren’t by any stretch well off, my APs were excellent at juggling money (a trait I sadly missed out on picking up ;)) and so the life I lived was comfortable. In fact, were it not for the issues that BEING ADOPTED has caused for my life, I actually would’ve had that fabled “better life” that is the lure of adoption.

#WASO40 hints at posts relating to the future, so for inclusion I’m finishing where I started; wanting to get legislation changed so that the ADOPTEE is the one who ultimately gets to decide what they want for their life. Giving adoptees the chance to annul/overturn/however you wanna phrase it THEIR OWN adoptions scares people though – any of us could become ungrateful bastards if we can all undo what’s been done to us, think of how the number of adopters’d plummet if they knew we the adoptees could have the final say over whether our adoptions’re “forever” or not.

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Suitable Adoptees

Alternatively, fostering can be a staging post to adoption (for example, until suitable adoptees are matched).

Maybe NOW people’ll start believing that adoption is FUCK ALL to do with what’s best for the damn kid. WTF should the damn ADOPTEE be the one who has to be suitable?????

> >Linky < <

(Old post I know, just tripped over it going through me drafts folder.)

How Fallopian Tubes are like Holocaust Cattle Cars

I don’t often to reblogs on to my own adoption blog (don’t need to ’cause I’ve got so many other places I can send it ;}), but this post is so very much in tune with my perspective I was attempting to describe in my recent An update, of sorts post that I just HAD TO share it right here with y’all. :D

boof & monk-monk

Trying to conceive is a strange experience. The more I learn about my body, the more I realize that junior high and high school health/biology class are severely lacking in the information department. Or maybe I was too busy doodling the name of my dreamy crush on my pee chee. Or both.

But seriously, it was only this week that I learned how…um…dumb (for lack of a better description) the whole getting pregnant thing really is. I mean, you have unprotected baby making sex, hopefully at the right time for the stars to align, and when you’re finished you go and get a drink of water, or take a shower or eat a sandwich. And meanwhile, if you’re the lady, there are are these microscopic swimming things just…oh you know….hanging out inside you. I mean, that’s like something from a B level Science Fiction movie…from the late 80’s.

So there…

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7rinformation alert!

I’ve just decided that I give up on “conventional” adoption bollocks speak, ‘n’ I’m going with me own. From now on, it’s genealogical ‘n’ sociological families, them being the logical choices. ;)

Posted from bed using the Android WP ap. Thank you technology. :}

What *is* a “successful adoption”?

It gets said around – for example, in this {linky} article by (yes, I know, don’t mock, it was the easiest one to find :p) the Daily FMail, that there are such things as “successful adoptions”. (Bolding = my emphasis)

{quote}
And while some adopted children will go on to have behavioural problems because of their poor start in life, there are still many successful adoptions that take place.
{/quote}

So what constitutes a successful adoption then? Is it one where we don’t follow in the footsteps of our “dire backgrounds, where it’s highly likely Dad has been in prison and Mum was addicted to heaven knows what illegal substances and working as a prostitute.” ??

Are we even allowed to want to know our biological predecessors? Or does that make us a bad adoptee?

Does it make any difference if it is our adopters that are abusive, as has happened in so very many cases? Or are we still expected to follow the decree and only recognise our adoptive families (who we generally have absolutely nothing in common with at all, other than shared history) as our “real families”, since after all, they’re the ones who sat up with us sick, and other such normalities?

What makes an adoption “successful”?

I’d really really like to know.

Another point to raise, while we’re on the subject, is …

{quote}
But, unfortunately, the names of these blameless children make their less-than-middle-class backgrounds all too obvious. And most prospective parents don’t want to adopt children who are named after someone’s favourite celebrity or tipple.
{/quote}

… should someone who so obviously cares about such superficial things as the name we’re given by our parents be allowed to adopt in the first place? I mean, surely that exhibits pressures that are going to be applied to the prospective adoptee that should not be placed on a child who hasn’t already experienced such a great loss, let alone one who has to conform in the ways that an adoptee does?

Containing Analyses

In an attempt to bolster my own capabilities, as well as to help shed light on the plight of adoptees, I decided today to undertake a sociological inquest into adoption. The research will examine publicly available data, using content analysis to examine the perspectives of the messages delivered.

So how am I hoping that my work as an un-yet ‘qualified’ sociologist will help shed light on the plight of adoptees?

Simples (thank you Aleksandr).

I am hoping that my research will demonstrate several things – both the positivist language used when discussing adoption, and the fact that adult adoptees are one of the least catered-for (for want of a better short-phrase) minority groups.

It is my hope that this research, as well as getting my brain into gear ready for going back to university in Autumn, will help begin a flood of research that – rather than looking at the issues from a childhood perspective – recognise that an adult perspective upon the issue is just as valid, given that adults who were formerly adopted as children are more likely to have developed the necessary linguistic skills that will enable them to elucidate more clearly upon an issue than the child version of the same adoptee is unlikely to be capable of articulating.

Necessarily, the information being used, as well as all the tools being used (e.g. for data compilation) I either already own, can borrow (e.g. from friends or the university), or are freely available for download via some portion of the Internet or another. This should hinder neither the validity of the final research, nor the conclusions reached however – as it all comes down to the ways its mixed up, after watching the cookie crumble, who knows where things could wind up.

And with that rather weird turn of phrase, I take myself AFK, or, at least, AFWP posting.