Adopted in the UK

The life of a UK adoptee

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Who wants to take bets on whether I presumed correctly? ;)

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I have been attempting to send a reply to the first response (by Mrs S Lucas) on the Thank you Mr Narey. We hope Michael Gove and David Cameron are listening article over at Grandparents Plus by Sarah Wellard (posted on August 13, 2012 by Sacha Shabbir). Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to work out whether my post is being repeatedly ‘eaten’ by both Chrome and IE (cba to open FF to try, here’s easier) whenever I try to post it, or whether it has gone through and is simply waiting in a moderation queue, to be posted once deemed acceptable by the moderators (if so, I apologise to those same moderators for my repeated attempts to post the comment, since it means they’re going to have multiple copies sat in said queue).

Thus, the following is the reply I was attempting to post – second version, since I thought about ctrl+a > ctrl+s about three nanoseconds after hitting send – just in case it doesn’t eventually show up over on the OP.

Mrs S Lucas, you are, I presume, either an adopter, or a wannabe adopter? Or perhaps you’re both – a wanna-be-adopting-again-adopter? However, whether my presumption is correct or otherwise, I would be deeply appreciative if you could explain why it is you believe that legally severing a child from its own genealogical heritage can in ANY way be “the best option”? However, when answering, please don’t mistake my question as being a suggestion that children should remain within dangerous environments. I am merely questioning why you assert that a child should suffer legal death in order to be legally ‘re-born’ under an assumed identity, simply because their genealogical relatives have been judged unfit to care for them. Surely that is nothing more than a punishment inflicted upon the child for the crime of being born into a ‘wrong’ family?

Yes, sadly, there are always going to be children who need to be raised by people other than their own kin, but I fail to see how inflicting legalised post-natal identity abortion upon a child can in ANY way be considered “the best option”? It is especially cruel to inflict such an irrevocable act upon a person these days, when there are other far less psychologically damaging options available. By far a “better” option than annihilating a child’s identity irrevocably is legal guardianship. After all, as even Martin Narey has said, adoption “essentially expires” at 18 years of age anyway, and since legal guardianship (which is far less destructive to the psychological development of a child than adoption has been repeatedly proven to be) can be granted to cover the same time period, adoption has now become an irrelevant act that does nothing more than causes unnecessary trauma and suffering.

Further to this, adult adoptees are now fighting for the right to have their original identity restored. Some UK Adoptees have expressed this wish by creating an ePetition on the HM Government website, whilst in America – and being similarly fought for across most of the rest of the globe in places that practice adoption in a similar way to the UK – adoptees are choosing to be Adopted Back into their original families.

Don’t forget that….

Adoption Loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful.” – The Reverend Keith C. Griffith, MBE

Written by 7rin

Thu, 4 October, 2012 at 12:31 am

Posted in Comment re-posts

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When insecure APs attack

with 2 comments

The following is a few comments that were made in reply to my screaming post. They come from what is OBVIOUSLY a very threatened, insecure, and terrified AP, who has – for whatever reason – decided that I am not entitled to have pain from adoption, and that hir ickle adoptling will also not have pain from adoption.

I feel sooooooooooo bad for hir poor ickle adoptling.

Submitted on 2011/02/02 at 10:14 am

Let me begin by saying, I did not read this post, I just needed a place to say a few things YOU need to read.
There is something wrong with you. PERIOD
Just because you are miserable and have had a miserable existence, doesn’t mean every adoption case is like yours, and it CERTAINLY DOESN’T give you the right to seek out poor injured souls and call them dirt because they want to adopt a child.
My child, is an unbelievably happy one. My adoption story, is a blessed one. The people who brought him into this world did not want to have anything to do with him. They put this newborn child in my arms and said goodbye. They then proceeded to kill themselves with drugs and alcohol refusing any help or guidance from anyone, BECAUSE THEY WERE STUBBORN AND YOUNG AND HAD BEEN RAISED BY PARENTS WHO DID THE SAME. AND BELIEVE ME CONSIDERING THAT THEY HAD ANOTHER CHILD I TRIED MY HARDEST TO HELP THEM. BY YOUR LOGIC, I should have wasted my time with them? Trying to force them to grow up and raise him? Instead of focusing entirely on him and giving him the best of everything?
He is and always has been My son, I AM HIS MOTHER. I RAISED HIM, I GAVE HIM A MOTHERS LOVE. THAT MAKES ME HIS MOTHER. And my husband, who has given him a fathers love makes him his father. The loins from which he sprang forth are of no consequence to any of us, by which I mean my husband, myself, AND my dear son. And why should they be of consequence? The means by which he came to be bear no grip on his life, but his life that has become by means of our love is all that matters to him. He has had an amazing life; as we have had raising him, loving him and he is and always has been HAPPY, and content. He will always be my son, I will always be his mother. And if you don’t believe it, by all means my dear, you may ask him yourself.
I am here only to defend him. With your malicious words you insult my son for calling me mother and loving me as such.
This my friend, is what a real mother does. She stands and defends the honor of her children, she does not stand idly by and allow their beliefs to be insulted.
I, like the people who brought him into this world, have sacrificed blood, sweat and tears for him. More so than she that gave birth, because I did it for his entire existence, not just the one day. From the moment I held him, he was mine and I was his. I have earned my title as mother, it was not bestowed by accidental means.
And on the day that his mother dies, it will be MY grave he sheds his tears. Upon which he says here lies MY MOTHER, WHOM I LOVED, AND WHO LOVED ME.

Sadly, I don’t have any time to respond to this outpouring of terror, but feel free to play with it yourselves. Just remember to also take into account the two follow-up messages that got posted…

Submitted on 2011/02/02 at 10:23 am

And by the by, I will not be returning for your rebuttal, or anything of the like, so you may as well not bother, at least on my account. I assume you will delete my comment, which by all means is probably best for your cause. I simply refuse to walk away without knowing my mind had been spoken.

See what I mean. Btu wait, what’s this … yet another comment! :p

Submitted on 2011/02/02 at 11:08 am
Also, before I go, I forgot to mention, I did not seek out these teenagers, like some baby hungry moron. I was young myself and a newly wed at the time. I went to their home at their request thinking I was going only to offer assistance, guidance, maybe even money. I had no intention of taking the child. But they placed him in my arms, and told me to make sure and take care of him, and left. So, in that instant, I did what a mother does. I dried my tears, and put on my “big girl’ panties, and became a mother. It was an instant indescribable connection and feeling of love that never, I repeat, NEVER has faltered. And as I said before, he is normal, healthy, happy, and grown, and now returns that un faltering and unconditional love to his parents :) US. He knows who they are, and to put it in his own words, “more importantly, ” he “knows who WE ARE”

You are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo deluded luv.

And unfortunately, I have to go, what with having things in the material world to be getting on with.

Written by 7rin

Fri, 11 February, 2011 at 11:37 am

Posted in Comment re-posts

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