Adopted in the UK

The life of a UK adoptee

When insecure APs attack

with 2 comments

The following is a few comments that were made in reply to my screaming post. They come from what is OBVIOUSLY a very threatened, insecure, and terrified AP, who has – for whatever reason – decided that I am not entitled to have pain from adoption, and that hir ickle adoptling will also not have pain from adoption.

I feel sooooooooooo bad for hir poor ickle adoptling.

Submitted on 2011/02/02 at 10:14 am

Let me begin by saying, I did not read this post, I just needed a place to say a few things YOU need to read.
There is something wrong with you. PERIOD
Just because you are miserable and have had a miserable existence, doesn’t mean every adoption case is like yours, and it CERTAINLY DOESN’T give you the right to seek out poor injured souls and call them dirt because they want to adopt a child.
My child, is an unbelievably happy one. My adoption story, is a blessed one. The people who brought him into this world did not want to have anything to do with him. They put this newborn child in my arms and said goodbye. They then proceeded to kill themselves with drugs and alcohol refusing any help or guidance from anyone, BECAUSE THEY WERE STUBBORN AND YOUNG AND HAD BEEN RAISED BY PARENTS WHO DID THE SAME. AND BELIEVE ME CONSIDERING THAT THEY HAD ANOTHER CHILD I TRIED MY HARDEST TO HELP THEM. BY YOUR LOGIC, I should have wasted my time with them? Trying to force them to grow up and raise him? Instead of focusing entirely on him and giving him the best of everything?
He is and always has been My son, I AM HIS MOTHER. I RAISED HIM, I GAVE HIM A MOTHERS LOVE. THAT MAKES ME HIS MOTHER. And my husband, who has given him a fathers love makes him his father. The loins from which he sprang forth are of no consequence to any of us, by which I mean my husband, myself, AND my dear son. And why should they be of consequence? The means by which he came to be bear no grip on his life, but his life that has become by means of our love is all that matters to him. He has had an amazing life; as we have had raising him, loving him and he is and always has been HAPPY, and content. He will always be my son, I will always be his mother. And if you don’t believe it, by all means my dear, you may ask him yourself.
I am here only to defend him. With your malicious words you insult my son for calling me mother and loving me as such.
This my friend, is what a real mother does. She stands and defends the honor of her children, she does not stand idly by and allow their beliefs to be insulted.
I, like the people who brought him into this world, have sacrificed blood, sweat and tears for him. More so than she that gave birth, because I did it for his entire existence, not just the one day. From the moment I held him, he was mine and I was his. I have earned my title as mother, it was not bestowed by accidental means.
And on the day that his mother dies, it will be MY grave he sheds his tears. Upon which he says here lies MY MOTHER, WHOM I LOVED, AND WHO LOVED ME.

Sadly, I don’t have any time to respond to this outpouring of terror, but feel free to play with it yourselves. Just remember to also take into account the two follow-up messages that got posted…

Submitted on 2011/02/02 at 10:23 am

And by the by, I will not be returning for your rebuttal, or anything of the like, so you may as well not bother, at least on my account. I assume you will delete my comment, which by all means is probably best for your cause. I simply refuse to walk away without knowing my mind had been spoken.

See what I mean. Btu wait, what’s this … yet another comment! :p

Submitted on 2011/02/02 at 11:08 am
Also, before I go, I forgot to mention, I did not seek out these teenagers, like some baby hungry moron. I was young myself and a newly wed at the time. I went to their home at their request thinking I was going only to offer assistance, guidance, maybe even money. I had no intention of taking the child. But they placed him in my arms, and told me to make sure and take care of him, and left. So, in that instant, I did what a mother does. I dried my tears, and put on my “big girl’ panties, and became a mother. It was an instant indescribable connection and feeling of love that never, I repeat, NEVER has faltered. And as I said before, he is normal, healthy, happy, and grown, and now returns that un faltering and unconditional love to his parents :) US. He knows who they are, and to put it in his own words, “more importantly, ” he “knows who WE ARE”

You are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo deluded luv.

And unfortunately, I have to go, what with having things in the material world to be getting on with.

Written by 7rin

Fri, 11 February, 2011 at 11:37 am

Posted in Comment re-posts

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  1. “I had no intention of taking the child. But they placed him in my arms, and told me to make sure and take care of him, and left.”

    I don’t know about over there in the UK, but in America that’s illegal. Can she really just take a baby from a couple without lawyers, home study, or anything?


    Sun, 1 May, 2011 at 9:04 pm

  2. You provide some interesting, and worthwhile insight into the other side of adoption- the adult adoptee. It seems all too often overlooked; what are the effects and outcomes of the children who are adopted. My husband and I have recently inquired about adopting an older child who is in the fostercare system. Although I personally am medically able to have children, I feel that it is completely selfish and irresponsible to bring a child into the world in the state it is in currently- we have a global economic crisis, loads of unemployment, and no food security. I thought I was doing the right thing by adopting a waiting child- but thus far my experience has been all around negative. I had inquired about having our homestudy completed by a private agency- big mistake! They are only interested in dealing with those willing to adopt through “baby brokers” aka adoption agencies, and not the state gov’t waiting child programs. This so-called “professional” social worker felt it necessary to send me the rudest, most condescending and idiotic email imaginable, condemning me for stating that I refuse to “BUY” a child. After reading LOADS of horror stories posted by AP’s, as well as yours and other adoptees posts- these people cannot convince me that the adoption industry is anything short of Legalised Baby selling. I even read one post by a birth mother warning people not to use a particular agency in California, as they had coerced her into giving up her baby- then pulled some legal magicianry to prevent her from keeping her baby after changing her mind once she had given birth. So I am thoroughly disgusted on all fronts concerning the adoption industry- in my estimation, this is exactly what it is. I think I’ll stick to parenting my four-legged children! I want no part of this greedy and abhorrent flesh trade.

    questioning the adoption "industry"

    Mon, 19 December, 2011 at 8:23 am

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